


Like Hell

by hollowfirefly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, Established Friendship, M/M, Pining, Post Time Skip, side characters who are mentioned but don't do anything not tagged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29187057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollowfirefly/pseuds/hollowfirefly
Summary: Atsumu doesn’t know if he can do this anymore.There were a lot of things he could handle including his brother running off with Kita, the guy he had dated briefly in high school, to grow rice on a farm somewhere (now Osamu just makes onigiri in Osaka and is dating Suna, an old friend), his dog running away during a thunderstorm, even his parents forgetting to call him every Sunday.But he couldn’t handle his best friend not calling him for the past three months.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 99





	Like Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I had an old fic from another fandom that I switched and changed into SakuAtsu. I hope I kept the spirit and characterizations as accurate as possible. I just love their dynamic friendship and possible relationship. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

**Like Hell**

Atsumu doesn’t know if he can do this anymore.

There were a lot of things he could handle including his brother running off with Kita, the guy he had dated briefly in high school, to grow rice on a farm somewhere (now Osamu just makes onigiri in Osaka and is dating Suna, an old friend), his dog running away during a thunderstorm, even his parents forgetting to call him every Sunday.

But he couldn’t handle his best friend not calling him for the past three months.

Atsumu had been playing for the MSBY Black Jackals for a year or so now. He lived in a dorm building with the rest of his teammates including Bokuto, Hinata, Meian, Tomas, Inunaki, Barnes, and his best friend Sakusa. Recently, Sakusa had been told his cousin Komori had come down with an illness that was keeping him back home in Tokyo. Sakusa wanted to be there for him, as well as, help his family out. Komori had helped Sakusa overcome a lot of mental fears and introduced him to volleyball. Helping Komori and his family was the right thing to do.

Little did he know that he wouldn’t hear from him the entire summer.

Hinata had told Atsumu that he just needed to understand that Sakusa was busy and, No Atsumu he did not go and find a better-looking man to replace you with, but if you keep acting like this – he will.

Hinata, amused, said to Atsumu that maybe he just needed to admit to himself that he had a raging crush on Sakusa and to just tell him before Atsumu imploded. Atsumu, not answering at first, simply replied with, “Well, even if I wanted to, he wouldn’t answer his phone, now would he?”

Atsumu was a very focused man. He never let his mind stray to the point of putting volleyball second, but recently Meian had made a worried comment about his “wandering mind” and Atsumu was desperately trying to figure out what was distracting him so much.

Bokuto had put it bluntly.

“It’s because you’re in love with Sakusa, right? You should just tell him! I told Hinata to tell Kageyama and now they won’t stop making out at the end of every match. You’re going to be really upset if he comes back here with a hot Tokyo boyfriend and won’t hang out with you anymore. I’d be sad too if he stopped hanging around us though. So, you should really tell him. For me!” Bokuto was always strangely honest and even though Atsumu had lived with him for a while now, he still wasn’t used to his candor.

Atsumu had known Sakusa since they started playing volleyball for the MSBY Black Jackals and ever since Atsumu had helped Sakusa clean his room one night after an incident with a whole lot of caterpillars, they had been inseparable. They did homework together, watched every weekly episode of their favorite shows together after volleyball practice, spent nights talking about nothing and laughing their asses off, and at some point Atsumu even drew Sakusa as a volleyball. At some point Sakusa had decided that Atsumu was going to be the one he felt closest to on the team, and Atsumu didn’t mind that one tiny bit.

Maybe Atsumu was just deprived of that. Maybe all this worry, and lack of focus came from restless nights where he couldn’t fall asleep until 3 am, due to Sakusa’s absence. Maybe all his worries were stemming from his insecurities and he shouldn’t even be upset that it had been all summer since he’d heard from Sakusa.

Or maybe Bokuto was right and he was madly and utterly in love with his best friend, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

So Atsumu entertained that thought for a while. Did what he always did in these situations and imagined nights spent with Sakusa kissing his neck, holding his hand through street fairs, soaring to the top of the Ferris wheel and kissing him fiercely as the fireworks roared above. He thought about all these things that he had always wanted to do but no one had done with him in a long time and he was scared to recognize that it felt absolutely _wonderful._

Okay then, so what if that was the reason Atsumu missed Sakusa anyway? In the end, Sakusa was his best friend and he hadn’t texted or spoken a single word to him since he left. Not even a checking in text or a voicemail. It just really did not seem like Sakusa to ignore him for so long.

Atsumu tried writing out little notes on Post-It’s that read along the lines of, “I went to the grocery store today and saw a guy wearing those ugly orange Sperry’s I made fun of you for owning so I guess they’re not as bad as I thought,” or more simple things like “I miss you” or “Where are you?” Then Atsumu tried something different writing sentences he had said to Sakusa a million times but now seemed so much more real such as, “I think you’re so cool,” “Omi-kun, I’m cold,” “I think your smile is nice,” and even something he hadn’t said before, “I want to kiss you so bad. Come home.”

Atsumu crumpled almost all of these and threw them straight into the trash except for the first one he had written about the shoes and the last one he had written about kissing his best friend, both of which he folded and set on his bedside table.

About two weeks before the Fall semester began, Atsumu was invited to a party that he was told was a birthday party for someone he didn’t know but ended up being a surprise party at his brother, Osamu’s onigiri store in the city for Sakusa’s homecoming. Someone must’ve told Osamu about this.

_Bastards_ _,_ Atsumu thought to himself as he recognized what Hinata or Bokuto (or both) had dragged him into and immediately went to the counter to talk to Osamu.

“Who told you?” he immediately interrogated.

Osamu smirked with a shrug. “Why should I tell you?

Then Sakusa walked into the shop. His hair was extra curly, Atsumu realized, and his mask was only hanging off of one ear. He had a small smile on his face and Atsumu thought that he must be happy to be home. Atsumu was staring and only noticed when Sakusa’s eyes met his before being bombarded with hellos and “Welcome home!” yells. Atsumu decided to hide in the back of the shop at that moment and swiftly made his way there. Osamu definitely noticed but was decent enough not to pry or say anything.

As Sakusa was still downstairs, Atsumu heard waves of “Surprise!” and “Welcome home!” Atsumu even mumbled a meager “We’ve missed you” to himself. He hated feeling uncomfortable at the thought of seeing Sakusa, his best friend who had literally seen him naked and taking a piss before. Atsumu felt like a stranger preparing to meet someone for the first time and he despised it more than anything.

Atsumu, scared of locking eyes with Sakusa again, stayed in the back to build the courage to go say hi to him for the first time in months. As he was sulking, he heard Sakusa ask someone near the bathroom door down the hall, “Have you seen Atsumu?” Hinata, he thinks, replied with, “He’s here somewhere.” Atsumu tensed as he heard footsteps nearing the open doorway of the very small storage room he was hiding in and he closed his eyes hoping Sakusa would just not come in.

“Atsumu?” Sakusa called as he looked into the dark room. He turned the light on then as Atsumu felt a wave of shock rush through his body at hearing his best friend’s voice for the first time in months. He opened his eyes slowly, unable to not look at the man he had been missing for so long.

“Atsumu… I- It’s so good to see you.” Sakusa crossed the room and pulled Atsumu in for a hug. Hugs were something Sakusa let Atsumu have. Just Atsumu. Atsumu hugged Sakusa back, but felt his arms going limp at the lightning bolts shooting through his veins from Sakusa’s touch.

Apparently admitting to yourself that you’re in love with your best friend makes normal behavior electrified.

“I’ve missed you so much Atsumu, you have no idea.” Sakusa looked into Atsumu’s eyes and Atsumu frowned, pushing him away slightly. Sakusa started and stared at him with a look of shock on his face.

“You missed me? Then why didn’t you call me for three months?” Atsumu frowned looking at Sakusa. He felt bad knowing Sakusa was probably busy but was there seriously no way for him to talk to Atsumu at any time?

“I – it’s hard to explain but there was a lot going on and I was taking some time to think about some things—” Sakusa looked scared and his eyes were glistening slightly.

Atsumu wanted to forgive him, but still wasn’t sure how to explain to him that in three months he’d developed feelings for Sakusa.

Atsumu nodded. “I understand. I just really, really missed you. And like hell if you think I'm letting you get away with that again.” Atsumu laughed a little.

“I really missed you too, Miya.” Sakusa smiled and gave Atsumu a nudge. Atsumu felt like he was on fire.

* * *

Days later, Sakusa found himself on the phone with Komori one evening after Sakusa’s homecoming. All summer Sakusa had been trying to figure out his feelings for Atsumu and now they just felt worse, heightened and confusing. He spent all summer ignoring Atsumu and Atsumu had just accepted him back? It felt wrong. What made Atsumu such a wonderful person? 

Sakusa was madly in love with him and had no idea how to tell him.

So, that night that Sakusa found himself on the phone with Komori, he also found himself pouring his feelings out to him. He wasn’t sure what to do now that he was back and Atsumu was making him feel like his heart was going to burst every time Sakusa looked at him.

“You need to just tell him and stop being a coward, Kiyoomi.” Komori began and laughed at Sakusa a little. Komori was always so sensitive, truly. “Listen, I know you’re worried about what Atsumu is going to say, or that he’ll just dismiss or ignore you, but I know you know Atsumu. You know that even if you think he isn’t listening, he always is. He always hears you.” Sakusa sighed, knowing Komori was right.

Komori giggled to himself and Sakusa interrogated him until he told Sakusa what made him laugh. “And don’t forget,” he said. “He may say he likes you back.”

Sakusa spent the next few hours planning out exactly what to say in his head, but nothing felt right. He rehearsed in the mirror in the dorm bathroom when no one was around. He tried practicing with the picture of the MSBY team that Atsumu randomly stuck to Sakusa’s wall. Sakusa finally decided that practicing was stupid and that he would just wing it.

Sakusa was sorely disappointed to find that Atsumu’s room was empty when he knocked. Even more interesting was that it was unlocked. Sakusa decided he should wait in Atsumu’s room until he got home from wherever he was (probably Onigiri Miya) and then he would see what happens. He sat on Atsumu’s bed, his gym pants wrinkling at the contact, his hands resting just carefully on the blankets that smelled just like him. Sakusa couldn’t help but smile to himself and remember all the wonderful memories he had made in here with Atsumu as they had been on the team together.

What if they dated and broke up?

Sakusa was a little terrified. He didn’t want Sakusa to date him and realize how much he was missing elsewhere or realize that Sakusa was just right as a best friend and nothing more.

As Sakusa was scanning the room, he noticed crumpled Post-It’s on the floor and cocked his head wondering what they were. He looked around, thinking he’d spot more, and saw two neatly folded Post-Its on Atsumu’s bedside table. Sakusa’s curiosity got the better of him and he scooted towards the table to pick one up and take a look at it.

Just one.

When Sakusa read the unfolded note, he felt an instant jolt of electricity run through his body. It felt as if he’d been shocked by a thousand waves of static affection and his hands went weak. He shakily replaced the note where he’d found it and let the words race through his head.

_“I want to kiss you so bad. Come home.”_

* * *

Atsumu fell on the couch next to Bokuto one day when they were the only two people in the dorm building. He sighed heavily and knew Bokuto would ask what was wrong. He figured this issue was worth bringing up to Bokuto since Bokuto seemed to have already known.

“What’s on your mind Tsum-Tsum?” Bokuto said suddenly and Atsumu smiled for the first time in a while. Good ‘ole Bokuto.

“I just wanted to be around you, bestie.” Atsumu joked and nudged Bokuto’s shoulder. Bokuto smiled.

“Always a pleasure Tsum-Tsum!” Bokuto smiled before frowning slightly, making Atsumu worry. “You haven’t hung out with Hinata and I in a good while. I feel like you’re not really here sometimes.”

Atsumu’s heart fell at that. He really appreciated Hinata and Bokuto’s company, they were two of his best friends, and they’d always been there for him. They didn’t deserve to feel slighted by him; he’d just felt so distant recently without Sakusa. He’d felt alone. Maybe he was creating that loneliness in his head though.

“Do you ever feel like maybe friendships are an investment in one person and sacrifices with others?” Atsumu asked to the air and Bokuto shook his head.

“They don’t have to be.” Bokuto replied simply.

Sakusa wasn’t his only friend.

“You need to tell Sakusa you want his dick and save us all the misery.” Bokuto shoved Atsumu’s torso and laughed, smiling at Atsumu. Atsumu returned the smile and remembered how lucky he was to have his friends; all of them. He needed to take leaps, risks, and appreciate what he had.

Atsumu needed to grow up, finally.

* * *

Atsumu walked into his room to find Sakusa sitting on his bed looking, to put it mildly, incredibly ill. Atsumu frowned and shut the door, immediately worried for Sakusa’s health.

“Sakusa are you alright?” Atsumu wondered, dropping his bag on the floor and briskly walking to Sakusa, his hand immediately feeling for a fever on Sakusa’s face.

Old habits die hard.

“Sakusa, you look like you’re going to be sick. What’s wrong?” Atsumu questioned but Sakusa was just sitting there, undoubtedly dumbfounded.

There was an electricity in the room, and a sense of impending _something_ , but what— Atsumu wasn’t sure. He stared at Sakusa waiting for an answer, hoping that the tension was just mistaken and Atsumu was reading far more into things than he should, as per usual. Atsumu was aching to say something stupid, something he’d regret, to Sakusa. Atsumu felt like there was an invisible force of gravity pulling them closer through time and space. A force with no constant.

Atsumu was terrified.

The air, as thick as it could get, finally thinned as Sakusa’s voice broke through the cloud.

“Do it.” Sakusa said.

Atsumu was confused and involuntarily rubbed his thumb over Sakusa’s right cheekbone.

“Do what?” Atsumu asked, perplexed beyond belief.

“Kiss me stupid.” Sakusa said and before Atsumu could answer, Sakusa’s lips were pressed against Atsumu’s. Atsumu’s knees went weak and he fell to the floor, his body between Sakusa’s legs and his head tilted up. Sakusa lifted Atsumu and set him on Sakusa’s lap as he breathed and delved into Atsumu’s mouth, seeking more. Atsumu could only think of how Sakusa’s lips tasted like strawberries and his aura smelled of clean laundry. Sakusa could only think of how Atsumu smelled like fresh rain and tasted like January snow. They kissed for what felt like forever before Atsumu looked up at Sakusa with a dopey smile on his face and said,

“I thought you’d never ask.”

To which Sakusa replied with a laugh, “Like hell.”

“I’m mad at you for ignoring me ya know.” Atsumu mumbled as he began to kiss Sakusa again.

“I know. I know. Don’t stop kissing me.” Sakusa replied to each one.

And with a mischievous smile Atsumu said, “Like hell.”


End file.
